Whether you’re about to have your first baby or your tenth, the idea of giving birth can feel overwhelming. And while you can’t predict every part of the experience, there are ways to prepare yourself for a positive birth journey. Here are ten common mistakes moms-to-be often make— birth mistakes you can avoid to set yourself up for the best possible experience.
1. Not Doing Your Research
Some women skip birthing classes or dismiss books to keep an open mind, which makes sense! But skipping research means missing critical information that could help you make empowered choices during labor. When the time comes, you might be asked questions like, “Do you want pain relief?” or “Would you like us to give your baby Vitamin K?” These are decisions you’ll want to consider in advance, so take time to learn about your options. My recommendations on high-quality learning material are at the bottom of this post.
2. Not Being Flexible
Having a birth plan is great; it shows you’ve done your homework and thought about the birth you want. However, some women get too attached to their plan and feel defeated if things change. Birth doesn’t always go as expected, so while it’s good to aim for the birth you envision, remember to expect the unexpected. Flexibility will help you feel more in control, no matter what happens.
3. Ignoring What Feels Right For You
Many women are told to lie flat on their backs during labor, but that position isn’t necessarily best for you; it’s often just most convenient for healthcare providers. In many cultures, women naturally give birth in kneeling or squatting positions, which can shorten labor time and reduce pain. Explore different birthing positions and listen to your body—labor is your experience, so it’s essential to do what feels right.
4. Not Eating and Drinking Enough
Unless you’re preparing for a scheduled cesarean or have specific medical risks, it’s generally a good idea to eat lightly and stay hydrated. Many moms stick to ice chips, thinking that will be enough, but labor requires energy! Not eating or drinking can make you feel exhausted sooner, potentially leading to a more challenging birth.
5. Not Relaxing
Labor is intense, but it doesn’t have to feel like an extreme sport. High stress can actually make labor last longer, as tense muscles can slow things down. Practicing relaxation techniques, like massage or deep breathing, can help reduce pain and even improve breastfeeding success afterward. Remember, birth is a natural process, and staying calm can make a big difference.
6. Worrying About Your Appearance
Some women feel the need to look their best, even in labor, and turn up at the hospital with a full face of makeup and styled hair. That’s fine, but in the moment, how you look should be the last thing on your mind. Instead, focus your energy on the experience of bringing your baby into the world!
7. Not Preparing Physically And Mentally
Working up to your due date may be necessary, but it’s essential to prepare both physically and mentally for labor. Women who’ve spent time strengthening their bodies with gentle exercise or using a birthing ball often experience smoother labor. (Spending some time on a birthing ball before birth can get your body used to comfortable birthing positions and help tone muscles, making the delivery easier.) If time is tight, even a quick online birthing class can help you feel more prepared.
8. Thinking You Have To Endure Pain To Be A Birthing Hero
Contrary to popular belief, there’s no medal for a drug-free birth. Many women feel pressure to avoid pain relief, thinking they “should” power through. But here’s the truth: once your baby arrives, how you gave birth won’t matter to anyone but you. If you need pain relief, take it—there’s no shame in doing what’s best for you.
9. Being Afraid To Speak Up
Your doctor or midwife may be an expert, but no one knows your body better than you. If something doesn’t feel right, speak up! Communication is vital to a safe and positive birthing experience. Trust your instincts, and don’t be afraid to voice your concerns.
10. Not Asking For Support
Going through labor alone is daunting, but there’s no reason to tough it out solo. A birthing partner — whether a friend, family member, or doula — can provide essential support, from helping you stay calm to fetching snacks. Don’t hesitate to ask for help; having someone by your side can make a big difference.
In Summary:
Preparing for birth isn’t just about packing a hospital bag or knowing when to head to the hospital. By avoiding these common missteps, you can feel more empowered and ready for the journey ahead. Here’s to a beautiful, positive birthing experience!
Recommended Learning Resources
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References
Bernal JE, Briceno I. Kneeling delivery in America 2000 years ago. BMJ Case Rep. 2009;2009:bcr2007133678. doi: 10.1136/bcr.2007.133678. Epub 2009 Feb 16. PMID: 21687313; PMCID: PMC3106011.
T. Field, M. Hemandez-Reif, S. Taylor, O. Quintino, I. Burman (1997) Labor pain is reduced by massage therapy, Journal of Psychosomatic Obstetrics & Gynecology, 18:4,286-291, DOI: 10.3109/01674829709080701
Stress during labor and delivery and early lactation performance, The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition
Paula Dennholt founded Easy Baby Life in 2006 and has been a passionate parenting and pregnancy writer since then. Her parenting approach and writing are based on studies in cognitive-behavioral models and therapy for children and her experience as a mother and stepmother. Life as a parent has convinced her of how crucial it is to put relationships before rules. She strongly believes in positive parenting and a science-based approach.
Paula cooperates with a team of pediatricians who assist in reviewing and writing articles.
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